Esther Carpenter

When You Have Everything and Nothing

She sat beside his hospital bed, supporting him in his grief. He’d just received news that would rock anyone’s world.

It was not likely he would live to see the new year.

He blamed himself, and maybe part of his guilt was valid. Some of it wasn’t. Cancer is no respecter of persons.

He had plenty of possessions, all the money he needed, and more.

What was the use of it now, he asked her bitterly. It could not bring back his health or extend his life.

He needed surgery. The money was there but no doctor would touch him. He most certainly would die on the operating table.

His only choice was to go home and live out his last few days under hospice care.

During his forty-eight-hour hospital stay not one soul came by to see him. It seemed he had spent far more time amassing houses and lands and far too little on his relationships.

And so, as she listened, he agonized.

Should he let his ex-wife know he was dying? Should he tell his son?

He didn’t want anything from them. Just wondered if they would want to know he’d soon be gone.

But he was a good person; he reasoned with the nurse.

She wanted to tell him that wasn’t enough, but he wasn’t in a listening mood.

The bottom line was, he didn’t want to die now.  Not when he still had so much  more he wanted to accomplish.

He could accept what was happening to him if he was eighty-seven.

I figured that was probably how old he was.

He isn’t.

He is barely sixty.

As I listened to the little nurse grieve over her patient, I remembered some words of Jesus.

“For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”  Mark 8:36

Only moments before, I’d been asking God exactly where He was taking me on my writing journey. It certainly isn’t a lucrative job, and marketing a book is hard work for me.

But why was I called to write in the first place? To be a blessing to others or to build up a bank account?

God used one phone call from my daughter to help me put things into perspective.

I’d rather be me, with a pitiful bank account and a restful soul, than this man who has all the earthly belongings he could ever want, but realizes he has nothing in the end.

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