While driving to Augusta to attend a women’s event, I was talking with God about several subjects that have been on my heart over the past few weeks. I was also seeking his direction on what I should write about for my next bit of encouragement to you. My past few posts have been a bit on the heavy side, and I was thinking maybe it was time for something lighthearted. God is always faithful to bring something front and center in my mind and emotion, but this morning I sensed him saying, “Wait until after the women’s event to decide.”
So, I settled back in my seat and enjoyed the beautiful early morning drive, sipping my coffee and chatting with the Lord.
I get to the clubhouse where the meeting is to take place. I have only been here once before, and I feel a mix of excitement and nervousness as I enter the building. I sign in and fill out a name tag, then turn to scan the faces of the room, looking for one woman in particular. It feels like yesterday that I met her here and my heart connected to her in a way that is not exactly common for me on a first-time meeting. I am so anxious to chat with her again and I glance around the room expectantly. I don’t see anyone that matches the fuzzy description I have in my head. I do not even remember her name, only her beautiful heart. Maybe she is late. I sure hope she comes.
I take a seat and the meeting begins. It is soon evident that something has transpired that I have not been aware of. The women in charge seem to be a little off-kilter and rather emotional. And then I hear that the beautiful woman I have been so anxious to see again has left this world and is now at home with Jesus.
I am devastated. I sit and listen to other women reminisce, ones who knew her well. I think it is not fair that I have been cheated out of the chance to know her. I remember the one sentence she had spoken to the group in November that had made me approach her after the meeting in the first place. She had spoken about losing her husband ten years earlier and then she said, “The past ten years have been hard, but I am a better person for having gone through them.”
That simple statement gave me an instant connection to her heart and the courage to speak to her afterward. Here was a woman who spoke my language! We chatted like old friends, sharing lessons that we had learned while walking through the valley of grief with Jesus as a faithful companion. She had buried a husband; I had buried a child. Our circumstances were different, but our heartbeat was the same. We rejoiced together in the fact that God can use the hardest of circumstances to bring about growth and blessing and abundant life.
I shared with her about my grappling with the tension of what God can do vs. what he will do in our lives and that I was considering writing a book about it. She became so excited, and it led to an even more animated conversation. I felt as if she was my cheerleader, spurring me on to do the work God had put on my heart.
I had been so anxiously looking forward to another few minutes of time with her. And now I find out that she is gone. My one memory of her will always be the only one that I have.
When the meeting is over a kind woman approaches me and hands me a memory card that was distributed at her funeral. I thank her, grateful for her thoughtfulness, and place it in my Bible for safekeeping.
As I sit here this morning, still trying to process the fact that my friend is gone, Psalm 103:14-16 comes to mind.
“For he knows our frame. He remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.”
From the bits and pieces of her heart that she shared with me in that one conversation, I draw the conclusion that she was a very beautiful wildflower, blooming for all she was worth. She was definitely flourishing and brightening the lives of the people she touched. Like she did for me.
Then I remember the Memory card. I take it from my Bible and give it a closer look. On the left-hand side is a verse from 1 Chronicles that I immediately recognize. Though printed in a different version, it is the very same verse God used to encourage me a few months ago when I was struggling so hard with writing my memoir.
“He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work…”
And I feel her presence, encouraging me to keep going, to be faithful in doing what it is he has called me to do.
So, two things resound loud and clear in my heart.
First, if our lives are like grass and we are flowers of the field, how well are we blooming? What are we doing with our moments here on earth? When others encounter us, do they feel refreshed by our brightness and color? Do they feel a vibrance radiating from us that stems from our love for Jesus and the desire to represent him well?
And will they hear your voice in their ear, encouraging them to not be afraid, but to be faithful, and do the work that God has placed before them? Will they feel that they still have you as their cheerleader?
You are only here for a short time. What will your friends and family remember about you when you are gone? And will those who have only met you one time be left with a single beautiful memory of the vibrant flower that you were while you were here?
Oh, and by the way, her name was Linda.