The desire to be accepted is as old as time.
I once knew a young man who, like many young people, was grappling with personal life struggles, family issues, and relationships among his peers. God seemed as impersonal as the stone statue of the Lincoln Memorial.
One day his pastor approached him about yet another problem, requiring him to follow his wishes in a certain, superficial area of his life.
This only added to the young man’s angst. Why bother trying anymore, he wondered, and he dared to say the words aloud.
“If you do well, will you not also be accepted?” was the pastor’s answer.
For years I cringed every time someone quoted that verse because it reminded me of the incident of my friend.
Something about that situation didn’t sit right with me. The pastor’s words were God’s words, but I wasn’t sure I liked what they implied about Him.
Reading the story only confused me more. Could it be that God preferred Abel over Cain because He likes meat more than vegetables?
Was it right for the pastor to demand something of a young person simply because he preferred it that way?
I knew that underneath all of it was my own insecurity. I felt sorry for Cain. The sting of rejection came through the story loud and clear.
I really needed God to not be like that, because if He was, then how would I know if He accepted me and my offering?
The other day I came across the verse again.
This time, instead of hurrying past it and the unsettling memories, I chose to sit with the question for a while, wanting to better understand why God didn’t accept Cain and his sacrifice.
And then it dawned on me.
God was not being partial after all. He didn’t love Abel more than Cain, and He wasn’t rejecting Cain’s gift because he brought vegetables rather than meat.
God rejected Cain’s offering because He didn’t have Cain’s heart.
And Cain’s heart was the only thing He wanted. God knew if He had that, He would have received an acceptable sacrifice from Cain every time.
Now I know what has bothered me all these years about that preacher and my friend.
The pastor twisted God’s words that day, using them to manipulate a young man into doing what he wanted. It had nothing to do with the young man’s heart.
He had taken advantage of a soul’s deepest need, and disregarding it, focused on external issues that had no eternal value.
My heart weeps for the damage caused by such a misguided use of Scripture because it portrays an inaccurate view of God.
Yes, the longing for acceptance is as old as time, especially the acceptance of God.
But acceptance isn’t found in following another person’s wishes. It’s not found in church rules or the earthly relationships you seek.
It is found only in a heart yielded to God.
The best news ever is that God wants to accept each of us.
The way to acceptance is through the heart.
If He has our heart, He has every part of us.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:10
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23-24